


Unspoken

by HopeCommission



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:49:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeCommission/pseuds/HopeCommission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Regina, drinking buddies drink together…it's sort of implied by the name." Emma smiled at her. </p>
<p>Regina finally turns to face Emma, her eyes flashing with something Emma cannot define. "You came and found me out of some twisted form of "Savior Guilt", and I am not in the mood to assuage that tonight."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Mention of OQ but rest assured, it is only in past tense and this is purely SwanQueen. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drinking Buddies

Unspoken 

Author’s Note: Hi! *nervous wave* This is my first time writing for this fandom. I wanted to somehow reconcile Regina’s feelings for Robin Hood among the backdrop of what we know underlies her relationship with Emma. Unspoken things. This is my attempt at that. It was an idea I just couldn’t let alone. Spoilers up until the season 4 winter finale.

So, without further ado…

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Regina felt the warm liquid as it slid down her throat. _Tequila._

“Another.” She said quietly, looking straight ahead or down but never at Emma. 

Emma ordered another two without reply and this time Regina downed the shot without waiting to clink glasses or even an acknowledgement in Emma’s direction.

A silence that was not altogether comfortable fell around them like a cloak.

I guess that is the trouble with silence. If left for too long, all the words that should have been spoken in silences past, have a way of bubbling to the surface. 

“You think we’re special?” Regina’s rough voice breathed so quietly Emma barely heard her. Her voice had a vulnerable hitch to it that made Emma’s head snap to Regina’s profile. She was still looking ahead. 

Shit. Emma regarded her wearily, preparing herself for verbal sparring with a woman she knew was very adept at twisting her words. 

“I think I understand you…I think we understand each other.” Emma supplied quietly.

Regina said nothing for a beat. Emma found it unnerving. Her silence.

She ordered two more shots instead. 

“You should go.” She swallowed the shot, placing it back on the counter and folding her arms. 

“Regina, drinking buddies drink together…it’s sort of implied by the name.” Emma smiled at her.

Regina finally turned to face Emma, her eyes flashing with something Emma could not define. “You came and found me out of some twisted form of “Savior Guilt”, and I’m not in the mood to assuage that tonight.” 

Emma’s face fell, but she remained quiet. Arguing with Regina was the last thing she had come here for. Especially three shots in and with that look in her eye. 

Another shot down and Emma Swan was starting to feel it. 

“I do want you to have your happy ending, you know.” Emma swallowed. “But I am not here out of guilt.” Emma chose her words carefully, feeling a bit as if she was walking in a minefield and one wrong step would send everything imploding in on her. It was terrifying. 

“You think you can give me a happy ending, dear?” Regina smiled, a cruel tilt to her lips. “I don’t need you to save me. Besides, if I relied on your services, I would be left seriously wanting.”

“I’m sorry, Regina.” Emma grit out painfully. 

“So you say.” Regina replied, with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“I will keep saying it until you believe me.” Emma said quietly, playing with the shot glass in front of her.

Regina rubbed a hand across her forehead, a headache starting to form. Perhaps it was the day from hell and the fact that her heart was left in tatters, but she found herself saying a lot more than she would have otherwise allowed. Perhaps it was the shots. Tequila was not her usual fare. Damn you, Emma. Just go. 

“Why do you care?” Regina’s voice trembled, betraying her and her eyes shut to shield her from the embarrassment. 

“I care what you think of me, Regina. I told you. I want to be your friend.” Emma was desperate and a little scared. Regina trusted her with this. It felt important. 

“Friends.” Regina repeated, but she said it bitterly. 

Something about the way she said it made Emma grab her gently by the arm. “ _Regina_.”

Regina looked down at where Emma was touching her, her eyes wide but she didn’t shrug her off.

Brown eyes met green. “Don’t.” Regina pleaded, and her voice held a quality that both frightened Emma and made her heart thud hard in her chest.

Emma pulled her hand away quickly as if she had been burnt. 

Both were unable to look away and hell if Emma knew what was happening but as she started to speak, a ring from a cell phone interrupted her. 

Regina picked up the phone, her gaze still on Emma.

“Hello” She answered. “Henry. No, I’m fine. No need to worry. Just stopped off at Granny’s for coffee.” She smiled as if he could see and be reassured, but her eyes continued to meet Emma’s unrelenting stare. “I’ll be right there.”

She hung up, breaking her gaze and standing up from her stool. “Henry was worried when I wasn’t at home. I have to go.” When Regina spoke again it was tinged with sadness. “I guess I’m just not very good at this whole “buddies” thing. Excuse me.” She stood up, reaching into her pants pocket, pulling out cash and laying it on the counter before turning to leave.


	2. Changing The Rules

Emma stays and orders another shot. And another.

And another.

She keeps drinking until the waitress slides her a smile with the check. Point taken. 

Emma has obliterated all other thought in her head but that she must keep drinking; at least until she can make sense of the vulnerable and perplexing almost conversation she had just had with one Regina Mills. 

She pays when she notices the place has cleared out, tables are being cleaned, and chairs stacked. It is only when Emma stumbles out to walk home that she realizes she is drunker than she had accounted for.

The streets of Storybrooke are empty and one glance at her watch tells her Mary Margaret and David are probably asleep back at the loft and even if they aren’t, waking the baby really is not something she wants to sign up for. Been there, done that. It wasn’t pretty. She really needs to revisit the idea of moving. Living in cramped quarters with her young and well let’s just say, active parents at her age complete with young baby in tow was starting to get even more than a little ridiculous.

However, there is no where else to go at the moment and when she begins the walk in that direction, she finds her tequila addled brain has something else in mind entirely. Before she knows it, she is detouring down Mifflin Street.

She sways a little on her feet as the former mayor’s house comes into view. It’s late and the bedroom lights are off. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Regina had been unable to sleep. Her mind had simply refused to shut off, instead replaying that awful scene at the town line…and, more than she cares to admit or analyze, often shifted to sitting beside Miss Swan on the bar stool at Granny’s. 

After an hour spent staring up at the white expanse of her ceiling, she gives up and slips downstairs.

She is sitting in her study flipping through a book when she hears it, quickly going to the door to make out the source of the noise coming from her porch.

Emma is sitting, her back to the door when it swings open. 

“Miss Swan, what the hell are you doing?” Regina’s eyes are wide, her brows furrowing together.

Emma’s head feels weighted and she leans against the white pillar, letting it cool her cheek, before turning to face Regina.

“You’re mad.” Emma smiles crookedly at her over her shoulder.

“And you are drunk.” Regina deadpans.

“Am I?” To Regina’s horror, Emma starts laughing. 

“Keep your voice down.” Regina hisses. “You’ll wake Henry.”

At the mention of their son, Emma stops. 

Regina steps outside, shutting the door quietly behind her. Her disapproving gaze meeting Emma’s, and folds her arms to ward off the slight chill in the air.

Her voice lowers. Evens out. “Why are you here?” The fight has left her.

“We…” Emma turns to look out to the street, willing herself to continue. “…didn’t finish our conversation earlier.”

Regina bristles.

“Miss Swan, there’s really not anything more I have to say to you.”

“Well,” Emma hugs her body tight, feeling dizzy and nauseous and holding too much liquid courage inside her. “I have plenty to say to you.”

Regina turns and for a minute Emma thinks she is going to leave her out there alone. However, she stops and turns back to face her with fire in her eyes.

“Then say it.” 

“You’re….You’re” Emma tries.

“I’m _what_?” Regina enunciates, seething.

“You’re bullshit, that’s what. You’re just… _bullshit_.” Emma is too far-gone to recognize the murderous glare she is now receiving and take it for the warning sign that it is.

“I don’t know what the hell you think this is, Miss Swan, but you do _not_ show up to my home in the middle of the night and talk to me in this way.” Regina is losing her level head quick and her palm itches to make contact with a hard surface. 

Emma’s eyes meet hers in desperation and she feels too many conflicting emotions when she spots hurt, not anger, displayed across the woman’s features.

“What is this about?” she tries, exasperated beyond belief. Hours before they were doing some sort of weird dance at Granny’s and now…

“I’ve never had your back?!” Emma didn’t know what she had been planning to say but it certainly wasn’t that. She clamps a hand over her mouth in shock, but then she realizes it’s already been said and she may never, scratch that, will never have this kind of courage to follow through on this topic again. 

Regina’s eyes are wide. 

“What?” Regina shakes her head, attempting to clear it of the confusion she feels at Emma’s words.

Oh.

Emma slurs, looking back out into the night. She is 1000% percent done with this fight. She is so sick of harboring it and deflecting.

“You say things like that and it’s just, well, its bullshit, Regina. So, what, Robin Hood and Henry believe in you and I have never had your back? Well that’s just fine, Regina. Fine.” Emma is incoherent, tripping a little as she attempts to stand.

When Regina moves on reflex to reach out and steady her, Emma flinches.

Regina pulls her hand back with sorrow in her eyes. 

“And yeah it feels pretty fucking great, in case you were wondering. That you’ve felt you have had more support from someone who’s been in your life for 2.5 seconds.” Emma rattles on, her words coming out rushed and carrying more emotion than she had intended.

“It’s late. You’re not yourself.” She says coolly. “Go home.”

They do not do this. They do not talk about, well, anything. 

Emma can’t go changing the rules.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This chapter took a bit of a devilish turn. I hope you enjoyed it. It was born out of my reactions to some of the comments made by Regina in the last few episodes regarding Emma (Miss Swan, as it were) and her devotion. As always, please leave comments. They really do mean so much and push me forward.


	3. Harsh Light of Day

Author’s Note: Thanks to all who have favorited, followed, and reviewed this story! 

 

Special thanks to whomever made that “Dust to Dust” SQ video. It paired my favorite musical talents with these two in the most painful and beautiful of ways. Consequently, that song and “Poison & Wine” by Civil Wars (on repeat) helped me get through this chapter. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

When Emma makes no move to leave, Regina clenches her jaw, meeting the woman’s gaze head on.

“Maybe I’m crazy but I thought...I mean, even if you and I..…I never doubted you at least knew I was on your side.” Emma is ineloquent and desperate.

Regina is silent.

“Yeah, of course. Shut down. “ Emma sighs, straightening and isn’t surprised when her voice sounds stronger than she feels. “This was…uh, a bad idea. You’re right. I should go.”

“Come in.” 

Emma’s head jerks to look at the brunette before her. “What?” 

The former mayor’s icy demeanor gives nothing away. “You’re in no condition to walk home. Especially at this hour.” She turns, with a hand on the knob, unwilling to see if Emma will follow. “You can sleep it off on the couch.”

Emma blinks. 

She debates with herself for several moments before she follows. 

 

Regina is rummaging in a hall closet when Emma enters, softly shutting the door behind her. 

Regina’s silk robe hitches while she rummages around on the top shelf and Emma has to force herself to look away from the view it affords. 

Regina tosses a folded blanket and then a pillow on her couch.

Then she is walking past Emma, heading up the stairs without a word.

Regina reaches her bedroom, shutting the door behind her and leaning back against its surface. It is there, when she is alone, that she allows the otherwise stoic expression to drop. Her eyes close and she lets out the breath she has been holding.

Words left unsaid strangle her now but she chokes back her emotions with the skill of someone who has spent years doing just that.

The woman slides down until she reaches the floor, knees up and drawn toward her when she lets Emma’s previous words roll over her once more. 

She wants to tell herself that it was the alcohol talking… but deep down she can’t even stomach that lie. 

Regina replays the scene over and over in her mind.

The worst part is she’s not sure what she is most afraid of –that Emma will want to talk about this or that she will pretend it never happened. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma feels someone hovering above her before she opens her eyes. Then she hears a voice. “Miss Swan.”

Emma opens her eyes, making out the face of the former mayor. She smiles a little at the sight. I mean, she reasons, it isn’t the worst sight to wake to. Regina is dressed and looking put together as usual, tailored short black dress, her hair perfectly in place and a deep red lip. Though, she really shouldn’t be looking there.

Regina arches an eyebrow when Emma meets her eye. Shit.

Emma’s face contorts in a grimace when the sharp pains of a headache present itself.

Regina straightens. “You need to leave. Henry will be up any minute for school.” Her voice is deceptively calm.

She walks away and when Emma sits up, there is a glass of water and two aspirin sitting beside her on the coffee table. 

What had happened last night? 

She remembers having shots with Regina. She remembers leaving. Alone. 

The porch. The night air. That look on Regina’s face.

It comes rushing to her like a freight train.

Her accusations. _I’ve never had your back?_

Her jealousies. … _been in your life for 2.5 seconds._

The honesty of last night’s words seems too harsh in the light of the morning.

_Shit. Fuck._

She grabs her leather jacket, putting it on quickly and downing the aspirin before she spots Regina coming out of her study. 

She stops mid-step when she sees her. “You’re still here.” It’s not a question.

Emma self- consciously tucks a piece of wayward hair behind her ear. “Look, Regina. I...”

“It’s fine.” Regina says quickly. 

Emma’s mouth starts to move in protest when they hear footsteps upstairs.

With a wordless nod, Emma crosses the room to leave and quietly pulls the door closed behind her.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Regina sits across from Henry at the table, watching him eat his breakfast, but her thoughts are elsewhere.

She catches him eying her.

“What is it?” 

“Are you going to be okay?”

When she doesn’t answer, he clarifies. “Now that Robin is gone, I mean.” 

Regina takes a sip of her coffee, placing her cup back on the table before responding. 

“Yes. I’m sad, that I won’t deny...I enjoyed our time together. But, I will move on from this.” She gives him a small smile of reassurance. “Besides, you and I now have more time to focus on our mission. Let’s talk after school and compare notes.” 

When Henry’s face lights up at the thought, she smiles fully at him. She has enjoyed sharing this with him and his excitement in turn is infectious.

“Go get your coat and backpack. I’ll drive you.” She instructs. 

She is clearing the table in the kitchen when she hears Henry in the other room.

“Mom?” The slight raise in tone brings Regina into the living room to see what’s wrong.

“What is my Mo-Emma’s phone doing here?”

\------------------------------------------------------

Please shoot me a line. I want to hear your thoughts! Thank you for reading.


	4. Let's Talk

Regina stares at the phone in Henry’s hand as if willing it to disappear.

How to explain this?

“Emma, uh, stopped by last night to make sure I was okay when she heard, uh, what had happened.” She smiled slightly at the end for good measure.

Henry eyed her, unconvinced. 

But, whatever. She didn’t feel like telling him the whole story that much he could tell and he was going to be late for school if he pushed her. He had given up trying to understand the complexity that was the relationship between his two moms by now anyway.

Henry shrugged, brushing passed her and depositing the phone in her outstretched hand as he went.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma opened the door to the mayor’s office, surprised to find Regina sorting through a file box at the conference table.

She had expected to find her mother behind the desk. Why was Regina here?

Regina’s head shot up at the intrusion. “Miss Swan.” 

“Regina. What…what are you doing here?” Emma gestured with her hand.

“Hello to you, too.” Regina responded dryly. She turned, continuing to sort through the box. “Your mother called. Though her approval rating may be higher than mine, she is completely inept at balancing a budget and the day to day dealings of mayoral life.” 

Regina turned toward Emma, meeting her eye, her tone softening...”and I think she knows I miss having something to do with my time.” She shrugs a shoulder, turning back to her work.

“Do you…”

“Have your phone? Yes.” She set the folder down, crossing the room to her coat hanging on the coat rack and reaching into her pocket.

Emma took it from her when she reached out, their fingers accidentally brushing.

Emma’s eyes went wide when she looked down and groaned. “18 missed calls from my mother.”

Regina huffed. “Yes, and it’s been quite distracting so I turned the sound off.”

“You couldn’t, you know, answer it?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “And say what exactly?” She continued with a spark in her eye. “Hello? Yes, Snow, this is Regina…why do I have your daughter’s phone? Well, she left it at my place because she stayed over last night.” 

She laughed, cruelly. “Your mother and I may have made strides but I somehow doubt that would go over well.”

Emma glared. “It’s not like we have anything to hide, Regina. _I slept on the couch_.” She clicked through her notifications with an air of frustration.

Regina’s eyebrows shot up at that. “Well, of course, where else would you sleep?” She snapped.

Emma stared, her eyes searching the older woman's piercing gaze. She left it alone.

“I…have to call her back. She’s worried.” Emma brushed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, taking a step back from Regina. “Then I want to have a talk with you.”

Regina turned, nodding and crossing the room to continue her work at the table. She pretended not to notice the small shake in her hands as she flipped through city council papers as she waited.

“I…I know” She could overhear Emma trying to explain. “I understand. I’m sorry…I was. I got a call late last night and I …Yes, I know I should have called. I’m sorry to have worried you….I have to go. I’ll see you tonight.”

Regina rolled her eyes. Snow was an insufferable mother when it came to her grown daughter. But then, she did have a little something to do with the cause of her capacity to think the worst. Best not to continue with that train of thought.

Emma ended the call and crossed the room, sitting across from Regina and letting her eyes fall over her as she worked.

She cleared her throat.

Regina’s hand stilled on the file, looking up at Emma under her eyes. “Your impatience is quite childlike. I’m busy, can we talk some other time?”

“Regina—“

“Miss Swan, I think it’s best we leave it alone. I have work to do. ” Her tone carried an authoritative edge. 

She straightened, sitting back and folding her arms, daring Emma to continue.

She was all challenge and sass and Emma wasn’t sure why she found it so attractive. 

“About last night…”

“What about last night?” Regina snaps, unwilling to even let her finish her sentence. Her brooding anger would be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing.

“Well, I said some things…and though I did mean what I said” Emma started…

Regina’s eyes flashed with something at that, quirking an eyebrow.

“I was drunk and I shouldn’t have said those things to you…not when you had just said goodbye to …” She gestured, not willing to say the name. 

Regina pursed her lips, turning away from Emma and taking a breath. 

“Okay, you want to talk? Let’s talk. Starting with why you are so jealous of my relationship with Robin.” 

Emma’s mouth dropped open, incredulous. “Jealous? Try confused.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Regina’s eyes are on her, her tone underscoring her fury.

“Just that you went from nothing to one hundred with him really freaking fast.”

“Is that so wrong?” Regina seethes. “That I would want to be with someone? You have the handless wonder in your bed so don’t concern yourself with who is in mine.” She spits cruelly.

“I’m not judging you.” She rubbed a hand across her forehead in exasperation. “You deserve love, Regina. You deserve to feel wanted.”

“And, I am not having this conversation. Especially with you” She is angry, standing and making her way past Emma to grab her coat.

But, Emma grabs her wrist as she tries to pass. “Regina, please.”

Regina stops, but keeps her back to Emma. Her wrist burns at Emma’s touch and there it is again, this indefinable thing crackling between them that had existed since the moment they met on Regina’s doorstep. Needy. Desperate. Dangerous.

 

“In reference to last night’s little tirade, people say things…when they’re hurt, Miss Swan. Try not to take them so personally.” Regina’s eyes close as she says it, though Emma isn’t able to see. 

That was the closest thing to an apology as Regina had ever offered. Emma was surprised.

“Let me go.” She commands sharply.

Emma drops her hold immediately. “I’m sorry.” She whispers at her back, unsure what the hell had possessed her to grab her in the first place.

Regina turns to face the blonde when she drops her hold on her wrist.

Once again, the silence envelops them.

Their eyes meet, the looks shared between them communicating far more than they had thus far since this whole thing began over drinks. It had always been this way. Shared looks. Heated gazes. Less than appropriate regard for personal space.

Regina stares at Emma in a way that makes her breath catch. If she didn’t know any better she would say Regina had tears in her eyes. She looks vulnerable and frightened and it sends a chill through Emma…

Emma stands to face her, moving in closer, mirroring the day at the mines all those years ago…when her head had become dizzy and she had wanted to close the gap between them so badly that she ached with the memory of it for days afterward.

Emma is unable to stop her hand and before she knows it she is brushing a lock of the woman’s dark hair behind her ear and holy shit, they do not do this. _What the fuck are you doing, Emma?_ Her brain screams at her. 

She doesn’t know why she keeps touching her. It is too much and never enough all at once.

Regina lets out a sharp breath at the touch. Her eyes are on fire and they have yet to leave Emma’s. When Emma drops her hand, running her fingertips lightly down her arm to take her hand gently at her side, she whimpers.

When Regina’s strangled whimper fills the room, Emma feels a wave of arousal overtake her. _Fuck_. She _whimpered_. From Emma holding her hand. _Goddamn it._

Regina just continues to stare, their faces so close together she can hear Emma’s uneven breathing.

“I have no right. It’s your relationship…I was out of line.” Emma tries breathlessly, though she didn’t know why it hurt her so much to think about. Regina with someone else. "Be mad. Fume at me. Do something. Anything but this silence.”

“Emma.” Regina chokes out. “You should know something about my relationship with Robin. It was…”

“He was your ‘one true love’…” Emma interrupts, her chest heavy and pained as she forces out the words.

Regina shakes her head now, eyes brimming with tears that refuse to fall. 

“…empty.” She finishes, unable to look at Emma as she says it, turning to look towards the desk instead.

When she feels Emma’s thumb lightly caressing the inside of her wrist, she lets her eyes close briefly at the sensation.

“What…what did you say?” Emma doesn’t know what to make of her words. “But you said…that the book…and tinkerbell..and..” Emma’s mind is reeling. 

“I wanted it to be true.” Regina blushes, ashamed. “I wanted to believe that I could have those things. ” Her eyes open, coming to rest on Emma’s once more. “Telling myself that if he was my last chance then I had to take it. But, I was wrong. When we were together, it didn’t feel like destiny, it felt wrong…but I allowed it to continue. I gave in to him.” Her voice breaks when she mutters quietly, “I’m just so tired of being alone.” 

The way she says it just rips Emma apart. 

Emma takes a step forward, putting her lips against Regina’s ear. “Regina.”

When Regina lets out a guttural moan at the contact, Emma pulls her head back to meet her eye.

“What do you want from me?” Regina breathes.

“I don’t know”. Emma responds sadly. Honestly. Though, she is already tracing Regina’s lower lip with her thumb.

Regina’s dark eyes meet hers as she parts her lips slightly.

Their ragged breaths fill the room.

Emma barely has time to register the door is opening before she is jumping away from Regina and is greeted by the sight of her mother in the doorway.

“Emma, Hi. This is a pleasant surprise. What are you doing here?” Snow smiles, unaware of the moment she had just interrupted.

Emma can’t take her eyes off Regina, who is just standing there breathing heavy with a panicked look in her eye that Emma understands has more to do with what was transpiring between them than it had to do with her mother’s arrival. She knows Regina...can see her putting up walls even before her eyes leave hers.

“I just thought I would stop by…because you had sounded worried on the phone.” Emma lied quickly, finally dropping her gaze.

Snow eyes Regina and then Emma when there is an awkward silence.

“Regina.” Snow acknowledges as she crosses the room, setting her purse down on the desk and taking off her coat. “I had Ruby watch Neal for a few hours so I could come in after all and make the city council meeting. How is the paperwork coming?”

“F--ine.” Regina stammers, clearing her throat when her voice sounds too weak and trying again. “Fine. I’ve almost finished.”

She risks a glance at Emma. 

“Wonderful. Thank you again. It is hard to stay on top of all these duties with a baby to care for.” Snow replies, sitting in her chair and scooting closer to the desk.

Regina wants to remind her she did just that as a single mother to boot with no help from anyone, but refrains. She doubts besting Snow would carry its usual joy at this moment, anyway. 

Regina pretends to look at her watch. “I’ve lost track of time. I have a few appointments I need to get to.” Regina supplies and when Emma’s eyes reach hers, she knows she is seeing right through her. “I will come back tomorrow and finish what I started.”

Snow nods. “See you tomorrow.”

Then, Regina is grabbing her coat and walking through the door before Emma even realizes it’s happening.

Emma, forgetting her mother’s presence, starts to go after her, one hand on the door before Snow’s voice is halting her movements.

“Emma, let her go. She looked upset.” Snow advised. “Did you say something to her?”

If looks could kill. “No, I did not say anything to her.” Emma grits out, unable to keep the agitation from seeping into her tone.

“Okay, alright…but she has been having a really hard time with this whole Robin thing.” Snow continues. “And since you are partially…well you know, responsible for the hurt she feels right now…I just think you should give her some space.”

Emma’s fists clench at her sides. Her mother knew nothing. But, it’s not like she can reply with how Regina hadn’t seemed to mind the, uh, lack of space that was just between them. Or the way she had moaned when Emma’s lips touched her ear. 

_Jesus Christ._

_She had moaned._


	5. These Familiar Walls

I listened to Sam Smith’s “I’m Not the Only One” while writing this chapter. So, you’ve been warned. Lol. Please keep reviewing! I love your reviews. Truth be told, that is why you have this mini update now instead of after I made more progress on my dissertation.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Emma sits in her office, unable to concentrate or do anything resembling her job. Try as she might, she remains unable to shake the feeling that she should go to her. 

_And, say what exactly?_ She muses. _I’m sorry I’m such an ass and that I keep touching you because I know we don’t really do that and, no, I don’t know what to make of it or what it means, but I know I don’t want to stop?_ No. No. 

She needed a decidedly better idea of what the fuck she was going to do before going over there.

Old fears of rejection swirl around her and resurface in her thoughts and Emma rubs fingers over her temples, taking deep calming breaths. Her childhood had taught her many things about survival. 

Erecting walls had been the only thing to save her many times over.

They had that in common. David had pointed that out. 

Emma felt a knot in her stomach; dread mixing with a pitiful sense of longing and anticipation that she had yet to get a grip on. 

Anticipation would only lead to disappointment and heartbreak. That much she should have learned by now, she chastised herself.

And yet, there it was. It felt like fire coursing through her veins when she thought about touching her. Breathing her air. 

All the reasons that she shouldn’t, all the reasons _they_ shouldn’t, were nothing compared to the hunger growing inside her.

Her fingers twitched with the memory of the way her lower lip had felt as she had rubbed her thumb across it, her hand resting against the dainty curve of her neck.

 _Holy shit._ Years of unnamed feelings and unspoken words seem to take shape in her mind.

She wanted Regina. 

But, no, it was more than that. 

And that carried more terrifying implications than she was yet ready to face.

The very thought made her want to be sick and giddy at the same time.

She folded her arms on her desk, lowering her head against them. 

No.

There was too much risk involved.

Even if there was some slight chance that Regina wouldn’t laugh in her face…love, to Emma, has always equaled loss. 

No. Emma won’t lose her.

She isn’t going over there.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Regina chopped the vegetables with a vengeance, plunging her knife down onto the cutting board with much more gusto than the action required.

She was pissed, to put it mildly. 

It had been nearly a week. A week since the _incident_ in her former office and the savior had been avoiding her ever since.

This emotional whiplash with Miss Swan had left her angry and more vulnerable than she was comfortable with. 

Never mind the fact that she had bared her soul to the woman. 

CLACK. She turned and threw the knife in the sink, scooping the vegetables onto a baking tray and depositing them into the oven, shutting the door with force.

She would kill her.

Regina caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she passed in the hall. The dark circles under her eyes were still visible beneath the generous application of concealer and she groaned inwardly.

Tonight would be hell.

Snow had invited she and Henry over for dinner. Though nothing sounded more asinine, allowing Henry to spend time with his family together under the same roof (without trying to kill one another, that is) was something she valued. She had made no mention of Emma or whether she would be there and Regina had had too much pride to ask. 

No matter, she dismissed with a lie.

Two could play this game.


	6. Defenses

“Henry.” Snow’s face lights up as she opens the door. “Regina.” She acknowledges the woman with a nod, moving aside and opening the door fully to let them pass.

Regina steps inside; clutching the dish she brought against her abdomen and her bag in the other by her side. She risks a glance around the apartment. No sign of Emma. She took a breath.

“Let me take that for you.” Snow offers, taking the dish and crossing to the kitchen counter.

“Hi, Regina.” David smiles at her as he enters the room, crossing to Henry and they disappear, as David wants to show him something in the other room. 

“She’s not here.” Snow deadpans as she pours two glasses of wine.

“What?” Regina blinks, shaking her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts.

Snow smiles knowingly at her and it makes her feel nauseous. She hates being transparent. Snow scoots a glass over to her side of the counter and Regina sighs, setting her purse down by the couch and crossing to stand opposite her.

“Is there something going on with you two?” Snow pushes. “Last I saw you …I don’t know. I detected something. Have you not forgiven her?”

“We’re fine.” Regina says sharply as she takes a sip of her wine. 

Snow looks doubtful, but nods.“Good. She will be joining us later and I want this to be an enjoyable evening.”

Regina puts effort into hiding any visible reaction. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dinner goes off without a hitch. Henry seems to be enjoying himself, which is mostly the point, if not the entire purpose of the evening. Making idle chit chat had never been Regina's strong suit. Especially not with the Charmings. However, she was happy to suffer for his sake. Then again, she always has been.

A key turning in the lock at the door makes her heart plummet into her stomach. She pretends to laugh at something Henry just said and by sheer stubborn will does not turn to notice or acknowledge Emma Swan’s arrival.

“Sorry I’m late.” Emma mumbles as she turns to hang up her jacket and crosses into the kitchen to wash her hands.

Regina eyes her back. She had almost been able to forget how pissed she was at the blonde. Though, thankfully, she remembers now.

She leans back in her chair, crossing one arm across her chest and taking another drink of her wine.

Tapping into her emotions had always been easy where anger is concerned. It was the others on the spectrum that gave her a little more pause.

“No problem. I left your plate on the stove.” Snow reassures. “How was your day?”

“It was hell.” Emma says gracelessly. She was never one for flowery words.

She comes to tousle Henry’s hair. “Hey, kid.”

Regina hates when Emma calls him that.

Henry smiles and shrugs away from her teasing. “Hey, mom.”

Emma sits on the other side of Mary Margaret. Her eyes meet Regina’s briefly before looking down at her plate.

“Hi, Regina.” 

Regina bristles. “Hi, dear.” She manages through tight lips.

David’s eyebrows furrow at the greeting and he shoots a look over the table at Snow. She just shrugs in response.

David clears his throat, swallowing a bite of his baked potato before speaking. “You’ve been working a lot lately, Emma. We’ve barely seen or heard from you in days.”

Regina chuckles bitterly a little under her breath at that. She realizes she had been a little too vocal when she finds Emma shooting her a pointed look.

Regina returns the gaze, an eyebrow raised in challenge.

Emma breaks first, turning to face David. “Yeah, I know. Sorry. I’ve had a lot of things to do at the station.”

“We will have our video game night this week, Henry. I promise.” Emma smiles at Henry who returns the smile. 

“Okay. But, don’t cancel this time.” Henry teases but Regina cringes. She regrets that their actions have pushed Emma to avoid her to the point of disappointing their son. 

\----------------------------------------------------

Everyone has finished eating but continue to linger around the table, listening to Henry talk about school and some fight that had broken out in the cafeteria. Regina smiles and laughs at all the right moments, however, truthfully she was only pretending to listen at that point. Being in such close proximity to the infuriating blonde was making it difficult to play “one big happy family” and she was counting down the seconds until she could politely excuse herself.

She stood, smoothing her red dress and picking up her plate. 

“No, Regina. Let me clean up.” Snow protests.

Regina shakes her head. “Nonsense. You made dinner.” She says firmly, reaching to pick up Snow’s plate. “It’s the least I can do.”

Besides, she could use the distance from one Emma Swan to be perfectly honest.

Emma stands, grabbing her plate. “I’ll help her.”

Regina turns, hiding her scowl from the other women as she carries the dishes to the sink. 

She senses Emma’s presence behind her as she begins to rinse the dishes. “How are you?” Emma tries lamely, carefully making sure that Snow, David, and Henry are too involved in their own conversation to eavesdrop.

Regina turns, grabbing the dishes out of Emma’s hands and eying her with a look that could kill.

“Fine, Miss Swan.” She smiles. “You?” She turns, rinsing and loading the dishes, giving Emma a view of her ass as she bends. 

Emma looks away and sticks a hand in her pocket. Jesus.

Emma moves to stand beside her, both facing the others across the room and not each other. 

“I know you run, Emma. I know that’s your MO.” Regina grits out under a breath. “However, you _will_ consider how your actions may affect our son. He may not be so forgiving next time.”

Emma feels the slap as if it had been physical. Okay, so Regina is clearly pissed. 

But, Emma is not a bad mother and she resents the implication. So, she fires back without thinking.

“Sure this is about Henry?”

Regina turns to eye her with venom. “Don’t.” She warns. _Don't you dare, Emma. Don't you dare go there._

“Or what?” 

Regina smiles predatorily and leans her shoulder into Emma, her lips close to her ear as she whispers harshly. “By all means continue, Miss Swan. However, I doubt your parents want to hear how their daughter has taken to touching me, dear. It's lucky we were interrupted by your mother. Who knows what you would have done to me if she hadn't.” 

Emma freezes. 

Regina retreats, a victorious smile gracing her features, giving away nothing of the fear she feels tearing her apart just below the surface.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Please leave me a line. It would mean so much. What parts spoke to you? what did you like/not like? Thank you.


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